Why university leaders must listen differently in one-to-ones

When talking takes precedence over truly listening, effective communication can be diminished. Listening attentively is vital for making genuine connections, collaboration, and even personal and professional development. The “talk less, listen more” principle offers a powerful mindset shift to improve engagement.

Listening well involves tuning in, not just to conversation content but also to the speaker’s tone, emotion and intent. This deeper form of engagement is especially important in one-to-one meetings. For university leaders, line managers and peer leads, it allows them to pick up on the subtle cues, unspoken concerns and emotional undercurrents that can be critical to understanding the whole picture.

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Teams that regularly practise active listening tend to be more resilient, collaborative and adaptive; colleagues feel safe, seen and aligned, especially in the face of uncertainty or change.

The core components of active listening

Active listening is more than a soft skill; it’s a purposeful communication capability that involves giving full attention to the speaker in order to understand, respond thoughtfully and retain the information being shared. Unlike passive listening, where words may be heard but not fully absorbed, active listening demands both verbal and non-verbal engagement. It is about cognitive presence. 

It brings in a collection of components, including:

• Paying full attention Active listening requires giving the speaker your undivided focus, maintaining eye contact, and avoiding distractions such as phones or the temptation to multitask.
• Demonstrating engagement Use non-verbal cues to signal attentiveness and encourage open communication. For instance, during a team meeting, show engagement by nodding when someone shares an idea or maintaining eye contact when someone is talking.
• Withholding judgement Listen with an open mind, avoid premature conclusions and allow the speaker to finish their point before forming your response.
• Reflecting and paraphrasing Summarise or rephrase what has been said to confirm understanding. Constructions such as: “So what you’re saying is…” can show that you are taking in what is being said.
• Clarifying Ask thoughtful questions to deepen understanding or clear up ambiguities, for example: “Can you explain what you meant by...?”
• Providing feedback Offer verbal affirmations (“I see” or “That makes sense”) and relevant responses that show comprehension and empathy.
• Retaining and recalling information Remember key points from the conversation for future reference to demonstrate respect and reliability.

Why active listening matters for leaders

Leaders are often judged not by what they say but by how well they listen. This makes active listening a cornerstone of everyday leadership. Influence stems from consistent behaviours that build trust, strengthen teams and drive progress. 

When leaders practice active listening, they:

• model respect and psychological safety, showing colleagues that their voices matter
• make better decisions, grounded in a fuller understanding of people and context
• strengthen relationships (because being heard is often more powerful than being advised)
• encourage initiative; people are more likely to step up when they feel seen and understood

By actively listening, everyday leaders foster environments where collaboration, inclusion and innovation thrive. Others feel safe to explore solutions rather than feeling pressure to always have the answers.

In one-to-one settings, active listening is a transformative yet often undervalued leadership behaviour. Too often, leaders listen with the intent to respond or fix rather than to understand. True active listening requires slowing down, setting aside assumptions and giving full verbal, mental and emotional attention. Noticing what is both said and unsaid creates the psychological space for colleagues to open up about challenges and support needs. It allows issues to surface earlier, helps managers spot patterns in behaviour or well-being and strengthens mutual respect. 

These conversations can then become the heartbeat of development, offering opportunities for connection, alignment and growth. 

In team environments, active listening builds cohesion and trust. When leaders model it, acknowledging diverse perspectives, holding back from dominating discussions and reflecting what they have heard, it sets the tone for more inclusive, respectful dialogue. This encourages deeper listening among colleagues, reducing friction and fostering creative problem-solving. 

Putting active listening into practice 

We’ve taken steps to embed these principles into our leadership development offer at the University of Southampton. Through our line manager development programme, we run modules that emphasise the central role of the manager in fostering high-quality conversations. One of the key frameworks we use is Situational Leadership (SLII), which helps leaders adapt their style based on an individual’s development level, recognising when to direct, coach, support or delegate. This approach creates more responsive and empowering one-to-ones, where listening is a strategic tool, not just a courtesy.

Another example comes from our appraisal training workshops, specifically Holding a Quality Appraisal Conversation, where we encourage managers to shift their focus from performance scoring to meaningful dialogue. Through practice conversations and using real-life scenarios, participants practise active listening techniques and better understand what motivates their team. 

One manager shared that by applying these techniques during an appraisal, they uncovered a team member’s hesitancy about a project due to a lack of confidence, something that had not surfaced in previous conversations. Slowing down, listening without interrupting and resisting the urge to jump to solutions transformed the appraisal into a genuine development conversation. It marked a turning point not only in the colleague’s performance trajectory, but in how the manager approaches all performance reviews: with curiosity, not just criteria.

These practical applications show that listening well can shift culture, build trust and unlock performance. The change starts with line managers: pausing, paying attention and being willing to listen better. If leadership is influence, listening is its most underrated tool.

Annie Owen is an employee development adviser at the University of Southampton.

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